@TheTweetOfGod: Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer.

@EricaLynnz: Brb taking my potted plant for a walk "And that is tha sunshine, and this is another plant, you guys can't be friends he lives outside"

@LoneWolfStories: That's one healthy flower bed you've got blooming in your backyard. How many bodies do you have buried there? -My attempts at small talk.

@DonQuickoats: I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe

@SondraDeeMe: Just once I'd like to see 25 tiny cars come out of a clown.