@SouthrnPinUpMom: Moms get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
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@Playing_Dad: *consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now.
@imdaintyaf: What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me.
@Spotzwoj: "I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault." ~ girls
@Brianhopecomedy: I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area.