@SouthrnPinUpMom: Moms get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
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@patrickmarkryan: If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
@darksidedeb: I like my men well-rounded and sweet and rich and available and covered in sprinkles wait a minute... that's donuts I like donuts
@truegritrumble: KID:I drew you a picture! ME:What's this? KID:Our house. ME:What's the orange stuff? KID:Fire. ME:Why's the house on fire? KID:I wanna PS4.