@TheTweetOfGod: Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times.
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@RoastedPapad: [Interview] HR - What are your strengths and weaknesses ? Me - WiFi Password and WiFi Signal.
@flashember: [Opening questions in a murder trial] DOLPHIN PROSECUTOR: You are a killer whale, is that correct? KILLER WHALE: Yes. DP: I REST MY CASE
@msdanifernandez: [dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend