@iDontWannaBeYhu: Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.
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@jewfacekilla: MTVs Teen Mom has been cancelled. At least one person on that network knows when to pull out.
@LifeUnPinterest: My husband said I need a scary costume for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a Positive Pregnancy Test.
@AmericanGent69: Me: *grins* Couldn’t help but notice you checking me out. Girl: Yeah, I’m a cashier at a grocery store. That’s my job.
@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.