@novicefather: "Money isn't everything," I say, poorly.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dawn_M_: If I were a werewolf I wouldn't have to chain myself up at night because I don't like going out anyway.
@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.
@nerdreign: When I was 16, I thought I could slam and lock my bedroom door in the house my parents paid for. So they took my door. That's 80s parenting.
@Schmoodles: Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty.