@Julian_Deane: Money’s missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy.
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@TheCatWhisprer: Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
@KyleMcDowell86: [I just barely squeeze thru the elevator doors as they shut, however my chain wallet get caught, ripping my pants off as the elevator rises]
@thatdutchperson: Funny how I used to see human features in things like electrical sockets, or clouds, or my ex.
@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person