@Julian_Deane: Money’s missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy.
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@foodfacenow: Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean
@HairyJew4Life: The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.
@GoldenSpirals: He told me I was the "bee's knees". I believe I merit being compared to something more like a lemur's femur. Who doesn't love Zoboomafoo?