@Julian_Deane: Money’s missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy.
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@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?
@markleggett: Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip.
@David_Ingram: Just bought a sandwich in San Francisco. Handed over a $20 bill. Cashier to his coworker: "How do I accept cash?"