@Duke1173: *moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*
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@YourTextSpoken: I think it's lame how Justin Bieber has millions of Beliebers yet Queen Latifah only has like 8 Beliefahs.
@bobvulfov: TSA AGENT: take off ur shoes please ME: [hiding counterfeit pokemon cards in my shoes] the dude in front of me said he has a grenade
@JWilsonGA: No, PSA, buzzed driving isn't drunk driving. Buzzed driving gets me home 51 weekends a year, drunk driving gets me home w/a fat chick.