@Duke1173: *moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*
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@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?
@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
@MelKassel: The woman next to me smells SO good, is it weird if I'm like "What perfume is that, I will literally stop robbing this bank if you tell me"?