@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*
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@sarcasticmommy4: If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said "Mom, you're not funny", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself.
@dmc1138: When I see a piece of gum in the urinal, I think of how painful that piss must've been for that guy.
@Black__Elvis: My gf said all I do is sit on the couch in my underwear all day but that's bullshit, I've never been able to fit my underwear onto my couch.
@dshack8: Although no words have been spoken per se, I'm pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest.