@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*
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@joekjoek: How powerful must it feel for the dentist to start referring to your teeth by their secret "numbers" to the hygienist
@jordan_stratton: SON: Daddy, I keep hearing noises from my closet. I think a monster's in there. ME: Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other room?
@therealeatwood: [Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we “synchronize our cycles.”