@slimmy_shady: "More people are killed by toasters than sharks". So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster, you're in big trouble.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
@Marl_TheBean: I like my men like I like my books; easy to read and waiting for me in bed. ... And does the dishes. Ok this isn't working
@david8hughes: "Write this down." [Moses grabs tablet] "Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-" "Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."