@Underchilde: More than eighty percent of the world records I hold are for making shit up.
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@SamuelMoen: Impress your date. Be wild. Flip the table. Flip it 360 so its upright again & nothing has moved except a roll that has flown into her mouth
@tuckerflodman: *Snowman wakes up in hospital* "What happened to me?!" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?
@jwoodham: What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.