@thedayofthedot: there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being nice to people.

@TheCatWhisprer: My wife can spot me dropping a single crumb anywhere in our house from 50 feet away but her car looks like a Starbucks exploded inside of it.

@FlyoverJoel: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye.

@FeralCrone: I said I was mad at myself. My 4yo son looked at me. "There are fancier words for mad," he said, fixing my hair. "You should say irritated."

@KeetPotato: "this has never happened before" is that a yes or no? "let me check" [talks into radio] "steve can we let a dog on the rollercoaster?"