@CelebrityGaucho: Mormon cats have 9 wives.
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@GroperCleveland: Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died.
@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
@jamieramone: It's the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.