@matthewbaldwin: MORMON ELECTION GAME: Every time Romney becomes president, drink.
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@JustinGuarini: Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with "I love you?" Oh yeah me neither.
@panmidwest: ME: I made you some coffee! It's even double filtered… fancy right? WIFE: ME: WIFE: couldn't separate the coffee filters could you? ME: no
@Playing_Dad: Cop: Wife shot the husband for bothering her while reading a book Sargent: You arrested her? C: No S: Why? C: She's not done with the book