@TheToddWilliams: Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a "God PLEASE bless America", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners
@batkaren: Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
@ninjadinosaur1: I hate when I'm in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth.
@MeatloafComedy: My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???