@WheelTod: Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark
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@3sunzzz: Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack.
@kDuncanG: my accountant: look at ur currently monthly budget: · RENT: $800 · GAS: $200 · CHEEZ-ITS: $2,750 me: ur right, i need a cheaper place.
@krishna_van: Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it.
@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no
@Redfiascos: I'm always disappointed when I board a plane and there's no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood.
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