@mishakey: Most computer problems can be fixed by removing the idiot from the keyboard.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RexRizzo: Wired: "Machine learning will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Amazon: "We see you bought a wallet. Would you like to buy ANOTHER WALLET?"
@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
@jmhuntsinger: Judging by the quality of some of your tweets I can tell this isn't the first time you've failed in life.
@TheCiscoKidder: I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from "Married" to "It's Complicated."