@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard.
No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@jwoodham: JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games.
@gorrdano: A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community.
@GrantTanaka: "I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate"
*notices you don't care
*adds you to list of shit I hate
@weinerdog4life: *chases cat around the house with a lint roller
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful