@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard.
No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@PaperWash: In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.
@meganamram: I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's "Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED," not "Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"
@theBigMvee: Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER
Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass
Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance
@UncleDuke1969: “You gotta try the lobs-”
- I’ll should tell you…
- We’re not having sex.
- What were you saying?
“The chicken here’s great.”
@tastefactory: People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.