@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
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@JiminyKicksIt: Interviewer: "So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Me: "My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."
@hippieswordfish: [day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that
@Reverend_Scott: BRUCE WAYNE: [enters meeting room still wearing Batman cape] what's first today? NEW GUY: OMG Bruce Wayne is Bat- INTERN: [covering new guy's mouth] we pretend we don't know