@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
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@TheMichaelRock: *sees Salvation Army bell ringer* "Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!" "Sir, we don't accept children." *runs away*
@Sickayduh: DATE: This place is so fancy ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before? DATE: Well, only when we didn't have a condom
@Seinfeld2000: KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it
@Discourt: Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch.