@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
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@david8hughes: [my acceptance speech at the Badger Recogniser of the year award] Me: just wanna thank-oh, theres one now Narrator: that's why he's the best
@WeekendTwitr: Quit making fun of my barbed wire tattoo literally no one has even tried climbing over my arm since I got it.
@Lisabug74: One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now.