@954LeenO: Most days I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once.
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@TwinSurvivalist: Home Alone is my favorite movie about the inevitable homicidal tendencies that come from prolonged neglect.
@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
@YayForAnxiety: Me: "Hello? Yeah hi I'm calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what's her number?"