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@donni: Most drug-sniffing dogs refuse to admit they have a problem
@SexySpainNights: My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account
@TheRobCee: Better "copulate" than "copunever."
@OBiiieeee: I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out.
Back to having zero haters, feels good.
@rickolantern: Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE
I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket
@MandiAtRandom: Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.