@donni: Most drug-sniffing dogs refuse to admit they have a problem
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@seethenare: If you're a couple who sit on the same side of the booth, I'mma slide into the empty seat and eat your fries. Stop creeping everyone out.
@HenpeckedHal: What's the biggest gaffe you've ever made? Mine was congratulating a coworker on a non-existant pregnancy. Turns out he'd just gotten really fat.
@PetrickSara: [Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table.