@donni: Most drug-sniffing dogs refuse to admit they have a problem
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@Its_Miss_Riss: Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel.
@Dawn_M_: He said I reminded him of the girl from The Ring. We laughed and laughed, and then I put an axe in his back and ate his soul.
@Aspersioncast: Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments