@TheWoodenslurpy: Most embarrassing thing a human being can experience is publicly unrequited love. Second is having the noisy grocery cart.
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@sarcasticmommy4: If you think you're having a bad day, the lady who took my order in the drive-thru asked me if my order was to go.
@dsmitty62: Today is "bring your dog to work day". I thought it was "bring your dawg to work day". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg
@Anon_imosity: [walks into bookstore] Me: do you have any books on turtles? Worker: Hard back? Me: Yeah, with little heads.
@RorynotRoy: Here at Nickelodeon, we're constantly trying to push the boundaries of what a child's head should be shaped like.