@GrandadJFreeman: Most girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Me: "I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."
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@FatherWithTwins: Some Olympians have been training since they were 5. I'm hoping my 6yo comes home from summer camp today with 2 shoes on.
@Home_Halfway: DATE: So, tell me about your job ME: It's dumb & boring DATE: Oh ME: DATE: ME: *starts eating date's food* This is for asking a bad question
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs sent me this text: There's no wrong way to tell the person you love that their beautiful. Me: *they're.