@carlyken: Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
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@stevevsninjas: shot through the heart and you're to blame tetanus shots should go in the shoulder this is grounds for a malpractice suit
@KenJennings: There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their "whooo's a good dog" voice.
@truegritrumble: MOM: Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. ME: I'd like to see them TRY *slowly pulls katana from beneath pillow*
@Petote: *gets so drunk I grab a fish out of your fish tank and shakes it at you screaming "WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS?!" *