@CarpentersCrack: Most guys that think they know everything about women usually lack one thing.... A woman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT
@PaperWash: It's not about retweets or followers, it's about alienating your children so they learn to be independent and responsible
@just1fool: My only real regret in life is not pretending to be a shark in a heavily populated swimming area. But there's still time.
@NoDomesticDiva: A friend said she thinks she should buy her teen a chastity belt. I said try perming her bangs, that worked well for me when I was younger.