@Underchilde: Most household injuries are caused by saying “whatever” during an argument.
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@spotswoj: Well, she was raised to refer to dinner as 'supper' so obviously it wasn't going to work out in the end.
@MandaPie1981: Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito.
@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@myvisable: If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.