@Underchilde: Most household injuries are caused by saying “whatever” during an argument.
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@JessiCanadian: Every now and then you meet someone you wish you could unhinge your jaw for. *waiting patiently*
@Mom_Overboard: Inventing The Octopus- God: *watching humans freak out over spiders on land* Hey you know what would be HILARIOUS...?
@FatherWithTwins: 7yo: What are these? Me: Cucumbers. Last week, you said you wanted to eat more healthy. 7yo: No, I meant that DAY, not all the time