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@JasonLastname: Most monkeys don't like bananas, they're just being sexy.
@hurlarious: Sweeping a woman off her feet is easy if you know karate
@unravelingfire: Pocahontas: Did you just give me a fake name?
John Smith: ...
@DamienFahey: Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.
@Contwixt: "I need a timing belt & power steering for my life" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
@Neauxpe: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door.