@JasonLastname: Most monkeys don't like bananas, they're just being sexy.
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@KentWGraham: All it takes is a “food dreadful, service poor” Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner.
@fire2sweet: Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'.
@Meldiesattheend: If watermelon exist why doesn't earthmelon,firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons.
@Kyle_Lippert: Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*