@TheAlexNevil: Most of being a parent means saying "Great!!" when your kid insists you watch him perform an unidentifiable skill.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!
@simoncholland: Me: You know, one nice thing about being snowed in all weekend is we haven't had to spend any money. Wife: (clicking add to cart) So nice.
@ojedge: [on a plane] Stewardess: "Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff" Me: "Sure, can I have two?" *puts one in each ear*