@just1fool: Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what's not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk.
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@Crunk_Jews: This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom.
@TheSadnesses: [first date] “So… you didn’t mention that you’re trapped in 230 million year old amber.” [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]
@MartaEffing: When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved.