@Douchekevin: Most of my parenting skills come from watching Animal Planet.
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@neledmax: My kid asked me what my childhood was like so I took the batteries out of the remote and had him change channels by hand the rest of night.
@gabeserra: My 3 yr old's idea of comedic timing is waiting till we're at least 10 minutes away from house to tell me he's not wearing any shoes.
@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.