@chrisrockozfan: Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
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@HatfieldAnne: *person walks past me minding his business and not bothering me in any way* “What's this idiot doing?”
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for "We Will Rock You."
@QwertyJones3: Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. "Wait! What if I have to poop?" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."