@chrisrockozfan: Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
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@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.
@david8hughes: [at the opera] Me: what's wrong with that guy Wife: shh! Me: but he's tiny, he can barely hold that violin Wife [whispers]: that's a cello