@SardonicTart: Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
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@JCWisdomNuggets: Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called "babysitting". You're wrong. It's called "parenting". Not the same.
@ashley_barnhill: So you kill them with kindness but then what do you do with the bodies WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODIES SO MANY BODIES OH GOD
@Pro_Jones_: Me: Mozart was a great composer, but now that he's dead he's a great Wife: I swear to God I'll divorce you Me: *through tears* Decomposer.