@BarebakAssassin: Most problems can be solved by pouring a concrete slab over the person causing the problems.
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@PetrickSara: My husband grabbed a lightsaber and challenged our daughter to a battle. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
@SteveSuckington: A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
@CulturedRuffian: Could you play us a song? Cat Stevens: Maybe. *Sets guitar on table* Cat Stevens: *Maintains eye contact-slowly pushes guitar off table*
@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"