@wittwitbarista: Most things in life aren't free. HOWEVER if you run fast enough, they are.
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@What_A_Dame_42: Apparently it's not acceptable to moan when someone is demonstrating a choke hold on you in crisis prevention training.
@MrEd_EVH: *runs into long lost friend* Him- I started out on the bottom now I'm a district MGR. what do you do? Me- I disappoint people
@rickolantern: Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ...
@dazedandsincere: Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am