@wittwitbarista: Most things in life aren't free. HOWEVER if you run fast enough, they are.
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@MadamBetteNoire: Has anyone seen my jacket? It's white with sleeves that make you hug yourself and a cute belt.
@Jake_Sniff: [girl texting me] you left a sprite in my fridge [CUT TO] Me, crossing step one off of my "secretly move in with her" plan
@claire_mudie: This crime scene tape strung between two lampposts is NOT the finish line & these policemen are NOT cheering me on to a glorious victory :(
@mattZillaaaa: I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space