@badbanana: Most unrealistic scene in Pacific Rim? Hundreds take shelter in a bunker during a monster attack. Not one person is tweeting.
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@TheCamelToe_: Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking.
@TEN_GOP: Tiger Woods: Nobody could screw up their career the way I did last weekend. Kathy Griffin: Hold my beer. Bill Maher: Mind if I join you?
@KingRainhead: Boy: do u have any fantasies Me: ok.. so.. the library of alexandria is under siege& Im a librarian whos good at fighting& I save the books
@batkaren: [finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon] HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!