@kwirkyKerri: Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off.
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@trevso_electric: It's summer. We're young. Let's sneak into someone else's pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities.
@DaddyJew: Oh, your kid gets straight A's at school? That's cool. My son knows exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse.