@YosefHawel: Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first.
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@PabloGSerski: I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert.
@TheMichaelRock: HR: Do you want your name on the October birthday list? Me: Nope. HR: Why not? Me: Because I'm not in Kindergarten.