@Parkerlawyer: Mother’s Day is like the Purge for moms. We can literally do whatever we want for 24 hours.
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@sad_tree: *returns tent to Target* CASHIER: What was the problem? ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent
@Carbosly: Have we tried unplugging coma victims and plugging them in again? Works for my computer.
@Jeff_Sargeant: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
@KKAlThani: When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is "How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"