@causticbob: mountain lion attacks are on the rise. especially in california. be prepared!
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@jjax44: Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
@TheAlexNevil: Hug your teenagers today. In all likelihood they’ll be mortified by it and you can enjoy that sweet, albeit brief, victory.
@Owl_Meat: [Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*
@BoomBoomBetty: The worst part about having PMS in the winter is the ground is too frozen to bury the bodies.