@jeannerbeaner: "Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
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@amydillon: When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?
@FrenulumBreve: [Safari hunt] (Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant) *Adjusts hat and shades* "Elephant?. Yes that way." *Points with trunk*
@WilliamRodgers: Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don't have Cancer! Me: So it's working...