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@PaulyPeligroso: Movie Idea:
DEATH RACE 2
@jamespianka: "And the award for Most British Name goes to..."
*Benedict Cumberbatch takes a sip of gin with his eyes closed*
@envydatropic: I dunno but if I was a "doctor to the stars" I sure wouldn't be bragging about it these days
@TheToddWilliams: [praying mantis first date]
Female: You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
Male: Yeah well, you know, saving it for marriage.
@phaggots: Bae: come over
Me: can we ever have normal conversations
Bae: my parents aren't home
Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted
Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works
Me: No way a baby's gettin in here.