@Jake_Vig: Movie Law:
All computer hackers have to say "We're in" when they get into "the system"
@kimlockhartga: A good way to meet all of your neighbors at once is to take the trash out, in your pajamas.
@KoKeniSasquatch: Who the hell called them pot holes and not rodents?
@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital.
@Birdhumms: I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn't last long.
@qwertying: I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"