@Fred_Delicious: Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York
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@noogscorner: Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.
@missekay: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "supprt your local beaver" or maybe it said "support your local brewer" either way it's sound advice.
@Gre_Gone: (scientists naming weird spiny thing in a bush) Scientist 1: This thing sucks Scientist 2: Yeah! S1: It's hogging all the hedges! S2: Wait.
@BeCoco77: True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied.