@AristotlesNZ: Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
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@Darlainky: You can tell a lot about a person by eavesdropping in on their conversations in the bathroom.
@CrazyExhaustion: 5yo: What's a cannibal? Me: A person that eats another person. 5yo's eyes widen in horror. Me: You said cannonball, didn't ya?
@KentWGraham: My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out.