@Cheeseboy22: Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: *tied up* Guy: *hits my kneecap* M: I'm not a rat! G: Bring in her sworn enemy! G2: *tosses Rubik's Cube at me* M: Oh god no! I'll talk!
@QwertyJones3: Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son.