@girl_a_whirl: Mr & Mrs Smith is my favorite movie about how trying to kill your spouse & demolishing your house can bring the magic back to your marriage
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@abbycohenwl: *pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*
@iGreenMonk: The first guy to clap was really weird "I enjoyed this so I'm going to hit my hand with my other hand to show my appreciation"
@lanyardigan: Most of us get into advertising for the money. Me? I've just always had a passion for making people feel bad