@sfreeze6: "Mrs. Doubtfire" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking.
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@murrman5: [at divorce lawyer] bad news, currently all your husbands assets are frozen "he didn't" he bought 1547 copies of it, he must really hate you
@Vodkantots: [on first date] Him: What's your sign? Me: Vertigo Him: You mean Virgo? Me: I mean your stupid fucking questions are making me dizzy.
@good_fats: forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10
@meladoodle: Spoil any movie by telling ur friend “Ice Cube dies” before they watch it. They’ll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time