@joshcomers: MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it's like they had those babies for nothing.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.
@jackiembouvier: Well, Jesus, now all Samsung's competitors have to say is "we won't blow up in your pocket and set you ablaze!"
@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.
@Mr_Kapowski: Why does the airport entice me and call it a baggage carousel if I'm not allowed to ride on it?