@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
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@badbanana: I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all.
@TheTweetOfGod: Great news! Chipotle is giving out thousands of free burritos tomorrow! That means I’ll be seeing thousands of you by this weekend!