@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Rollmaninoz: *walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*
@ClaytonSykes: Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself.
@realHamOnWry: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris called it quits. But I am looking forward to her next album devoted to the break-up called 'Calvin and Sobs'.
@MourningGlory_: I just ate an entire bag of Werther's and now I'm 80 years old, own a floral couch, smoke Virginia Slims, got a perm and my name is Shirley.