@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SaraThomas84: I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB
@goodtimenoel: Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Me being beaten to death w/ can of frozen veggies] "Oh peas no!" [WHAP] "Why u bean like this?" [SMACK] "Don't u carrot all?" [CRACK]
@ObviousOstrich: If every person in the world held hands around the equator a significant portion of them would drown.