@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
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@JasonBerlin: You're never gonna believe this, but I feel negatively about the day of the week when I have to stop relaxing and resume working.
@JPHaddadio: Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?
@jharden21: Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties