@LDLevesque: Much like #Skynet, the dirty dishes in my sink have achieved self awareness.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vice_Queen: My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place.
@SortaBad: "Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"
@lovemydogduck: During the day I don't believe in ghosts, But at night I'm a little bit more open minded
@JaymayAllDay: You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty.