@LDLevesque: Much like #Skynet, the dirty dishes in my sink have achieved self awareness.
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@Just_A_Kenyan: 100 Ways to contact me; 1. Call me. 2. Tweet me. 3. Txt me.... 95.Drums and smoke signals 100.Facebook
@ShrinkMedia: My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
@oakhillbargrill: Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard